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  1. Stay with us and keep calm.
    The last thing we need when we’re panicking, is to have someone else panicking with us.

  2. Offer medicine if we usually take it during an attack.
    You might have to ask whether or not we take medicine- heck, some might not; but please, ask. It really helps.

  3. Move us to a quiet place.
    We need time to think, to breathe. Being surrounded by people isn’t going to help.

  4. Don’t make assumptions about what we need. Ask.
    We’ll tell you what we need. Sometimes; you may have to ask- but never assume.

  5. Speak to us in short, simple sentences.

  6. Be predictable. Avoid surprises.

  7. Help slow our breathing by breathing us or by counting slowly to 10.
    As odd as it sounds, it works.

1. Say, “You have nothing to be panicked about.”
We know. We know. We know. And because we know we have nothing to be panicked about, we panic even more. When I realize that my anxiety is unfounded, I panic even more because then I feel like I’m not in touch with reality. It’s unsettling. Scary.

Most of the time, a panic attack is irrational. Sometimes they stem from circumstances — a certain couch triggers a bad memory or being on an airplane makes you claustrophobic or a break up causes you to flip your lid — but mostly, the reasons I’m panicking are complex, hard to articulate or simply, unknown. I could tell myself all day that I have no reason to be having a panic attack and I would still be panicking. Sometimes, because I’m a perfectionist, I become even more overwhelmed when I think my behaviour is “unacceptable” (as I often believe it is when I’m panicking). I know it’s all in my mind, but my mind can be a pretty dark and scary place when it gets going.

Alternate suggestion: Say, “I understand you’re upset. It is okay. You have a right to be upset and I am here to help.”

2. Say, “Calm down.”
This reminds me of a MadTV sketch where Bob Newhart plays a therapist who tells his patients to simply “Stop it!” whenever they express anxiety or fear. As a sketch, it’s funny. In real life, it’s one of the worst things you can do to someone having a panic attack. When someone tells me to “stop panicking” or to “calm down,” I just think, “Oh, okay. I haven’t tried that one. Hold on, let me get out a pen and paper and jot that down, you jerk.

Instead of taking action so that they do relax, simply telling a panicking person to “calm down” or “stop it” does nothing. No-thing.

Alternate suggestion: The best thing to do is to listen and support. In order to calm them down without the generalities, counting helps.

3. Say, “I’m just going to leave you alone for a minute.”
Being left alone while panicking makes my heart race even harder. The last thing I want is to be left by myself with my troubled brain. Many of my panic attacks spark from over-thinking and it’s helpful to have another person with me, not only for medical reasons (in case I pass out or need water) but also it’s helpful to have another person around to force me to think about something other than the noise in my head.

Alternate suggestion: It sometimes helps me if the person I’m with distracts me by telling me a story or sings to me. I need to get out of my own head and think about something other than my own panic.

4. Say, “You’re overreacting.”
Here’s the thing: I’m not. Panic attacks might be in my head, but I’m in actual physical pain. If you’d cut open your leg, no one would be telling you you’re overreacting. It’s a common trope in mental health to diminish the feelings or experience of someone suffering from anxiety or panic because there’s no visible physical ailment and because there’s no discernible reason for the person to be having such a strong fear reaction.

The worst thing you can tell someone who is panicking is that they are overreacting.

Alternate suggestion: Treat a panic attack like any other medical emergency. Listen to what the person is telling you. Get them water if they need it. It helps me if someone rubs my back a little. If you’re in over your head, don’t hesitate to call 911 (or whatever the emergency services number is where you are). But please, take the person seriously. Mental health deserves the same respect as physical health.


This is very important


Anonymous asked:

How do you manage to have fun (sexually) with your girl while she is on her period?




First, I have no qualms about fucking My girl when she is on her period. 

I don’t because she prefers not to, for multiple reasons, primarily, you wouldn’t be all that interested in sex if you had the equivalent of a stomach ache from hell.

So what I tend to do, is man the fuck up, leave My dick in My pants, and I take care of My girl.

I make sure We have pain meds handy, as well as a good selection of movies, chocolate, and ice cream.

Then I cuddle the shit out of her for as long as she wants and go the fuck away when she wants to be left alone and come back and cuddle the shit out of her again when she wants Me back.

I don’t worry about how to have fun sexually. I worry instead about how to best take care of My partner.

Best answer ever 🙌

He the real MVP






Donald Glover on the suggestion that he play Spider-Man

Doctor Who fans should probably be prepared for this, because this goes down every time a new Doctor is going to be cast and a black actor is suggested

The real concern over this was that he’d be playing Peter Parker. I would love to see Donald Glover as Miles Morales, but it’s the same as having other ethnicities portray characters that have already been set as something else. (A lot of people got mad at STID because of this). A character is a character, and while those with the license can take some liberties with the character they create, saying “it’s in another universe” doesn’t quite stand up under scrutiny. That being said, the Doctor will be the Doctor, whatever race he (or she) will be.

Miles Morales didn’t exist at the time of this controversy. Miles Morales was inspired in part by the incredibly racist backlash against a black actor playing Peter Parker. The thing Donald’s talking about in these screencaps is the reason why Miles Morales exists.

The fact is, there is no reason Peter Parker has to be white. His race is completely irrelevant to his character, so there’s no reason why a black actor can’t play him.

Now, for characters of color, there is a reason why they have to be played by actors of color: White actors are overrepresented and actors of color are woefully underrepresented. There are already disproportionately too many white actors in the media. 

So, because racial representation in the media is so imbalanced:

  • Every role for a white character that is given to an actor of color is a correction of that imbalance, and a step towards more equal representation
  • Every role for a character of color that is given to a white actor adds to that imbalance, and is a step away from equal representation.

And that’s the issue. With Star Trek Into Darkness, people were upset because it was whitewashed. It added to a racist equality in a way that Star Trek in particular vehemently preached against. 

However, casting Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury was a good thing because people of color are underrepresented in the media, especially in comics and science fiction. Casting him as a character whose race was incidental to their character rather than being their defining feature was a progressive step, while whitewashing a character of color like they did in “Star Trek Into Darkness” is a regressive step.

It’s only when there’s equal representation that you can make the argument that actors of color can’t be cast as traditionally white characters because they’ve always been white. 

This is the clearest explanation for this that I’ve come across and I really like it.

Seriously, white people: Don’t we have enough characters that look like us already? Or are we worried that we won’t be able to identify with one that doesn’t? Maybe we just don’t feel like we should have to put forth the effort it takes to see ourselves when we look at someone else.

For shame.

This is the kind of explanation I always wish I could come up with in real life arguments, instead of having my mind go blank. I should start printing these out when I find them and carrying them around.


ok someone needs to tell marvel to stop spending money on air time for promoting their movies. just use the internet. and by that i mean there needs to be an official marvel vine account where there are 6 second in-character videos. can we please

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